8 months ago today Cayden left my arms to go to a better place. My heart feels so heavy today as I think of so much. Some days are better than others, but today is just not a good day.
Lexy came home from school the other day crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Mommy, I tried to tell everyone in my class what happened to Cayden and they all laughed and said who cares." At that moment I tried to fight back the tears and give her a hug and tell her how sorry I was. I tried to explain that those kids aren't trying to be mean, they just don't understand. It is so sad that my baby girl has to go through this. A child her age is not supposed to have a worry in the world, but instead she cries all the time asking me why Cayden had to die?
Right now, I am at loss of words...
I came across this poem yesterday and want to share it..

Grief is Like A River

My grief is like a river.
I have to let it flow
But I myself determine
Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain,
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger,
My faith seems faint, indeed,
But there are other swimmers
Who know just what I need
Are loving hands to hold me
When the waters are too swift,
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in
Hope's channels
I'll reach the shore at last.

8 months ago today, was the worst day of my life...a part of me was taken that I will never get back! My life will never be the same again...I miss you so much Cayden! Mommy loves you!