Monday, March 1, 2010

Well, I am trying to get the hang of this blogging. Today was a good day. Ryan and I went to see our counselor for the first time since we lost Cayden. We were both very nervous how it was going to feel since the last time we were in the office I was still pregnant, but it was actually ok. It was nice to talk about Cayden so much. Our counselor is such an amazing woman. She was at the hospital with us after the birth and she has a way about her that puts you at ease!
Ryan and I talked about how quiet it is at the house now that everyone is gone and how it's lonely and sad. The kids are back to school now which should give us more time to think about missing our sweet little boy Cayden. I look at Carter all the time and see his brother in his eyes. It really breaks my heart when I think about how I will someday have to tell him about his twin he had. This past month seems like such a dream. Nothing feels real yet.
I do want to say thank you to everyone. All of our family, friends, people who have prayed for us, came to the hospital, sent flowers, all the nurses and Doctors, Albemarle hospice, our photographer from NILMDTS, Chaplin Tanis, and everyone who accepted a place in their heart for Cayden. Everyone has been an amazing part in helping us through the hardest time in our life and we appreciate you more then you'll ever know!
Caydens memorial service was so bittersweet. It was so sad, but yet I still felt joy. I am one of the luckiest Moms on earth to have been given the privilege of having such a beautiful son that touched my life and so many others! Thanks to all of the men that work with Ryan who came to show their support and all our great friends and family who came. And of course to Chaplin for making it so beautiful and Twiford funeral homes for their help also. It was a day I'll never forget.
I have only one last thing to say tonight- I am a very proud mama of 4 great kids! I can't imagine my life now without my beautiful baby Carter who has made his way into all of our hearts and Cayden will live on forever in him. It was such an honor to be Caydens mother for the short 3 days I was given! I miss you and love you baby boy!


  1. Wow! Chrissy this is so wonderful, I love it so much!!!! You are amazing!! we all love you

  2. Such a beautiful little prince.