Monday, May 31, 2010

I wanted to take a minute to write tonight, it seems as if time has gotten the best of me lately! We are so crazy busy trying to prepare for the move, but not a day goes by that I don't think of my Cayden and wish he was still here with us. When I look at Carter, I can't help but smile. I just love him so much, but it feels so unfair that I don't have Cayden to look at and feel the same way. My little Lexy loo talks about Cayden ALL the time. She asked me the other night why it has to hurt so bad? I didn't have an answer for her though. It feels like it hurts a little more everyday. I feel like I am on a roller coaster. I do ok during the day while I'm really busy, but when everyone is in bed asleep, I fall apart. I think about the days we spent with him and how lucky we were to be given that time, but yet it doesn't feel like it was long enough! What I'd give to hold him in my arms again! Good-night my love, I love you so much more then you'll ever know! Love, Mom

1 comment:

  1. Ya know, I don't think it would ever feel like long enough. I think you would always be wishing for one more day, one more hour, one more kiss, one more breath. Losing a child just isn't the natural order of things! Losing a twin is a unique and tender journey all by itself. Sending you love and hugs tonight.