40 years with a broken heart...

When I had just found out about Cayden having anencephaly, I was google happy. I wanted to know anything and everything about anencephaly. So, I signed up on google to receive an email anytime anything new showed up on the internet that had to do with anencepahly( I am so glad that I signed up for this because I have found so many blogs of Mommy's who have also lost their baby to anencephaly from doing this). So, as I was checking my email this morning, I saw that google had emailed me a newspaper article about a father who lost his son almost 40 years ago to anencephaly. I clicked on the link to the article:
( http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2011-01-18/health/fl-nbcol-birth-defects-month-brochu-020110118_1_infant-deaths-anencephalic-babies-pregnancies)
and as I read it, I sat at my computer crying so hard, barely able to read the article through my tears. It was so sad and such a reminder that the pain NEVER gets easier. It kills me inside to think about how fast this past year has gone by....and to think that I have to live the next 40 years without Cayden just like this father has lived without his son. It also amazes me what a small world we live in. The man who wrote this article lives in Palm harbor, Fl, the town where my Mom currently lives and I lived half of my life.
I think about how I didn't have any idea what anencephaly was when I was told that my baby had it, but now it breaks my heart to pieces to know how many babies have died from it and to think about how many moms are at home with a broken heart like mine because this condition took their baby from them......or to think about how many moms terminate their pregnancy because they find out their baby has anencephaly( just like this father talked about in his letter to his son). I would give anything right now to hold Cayden again and to tell him how much I love him...
40 years with a broken heart is a long time......
Mama loves you baby boy