Happy 5 month Birthday!!

Happy 5 month birthday Cayden! It is so hard to believe how fast the time has gone! I miss you more and more each day! We went and saw the most beautiful firework show tonight and I thought of you the whole time, wishing more then anything, that you were there with us. My days have been busy lately, but my heart feels so heavy with sadness. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of you and wish so much you were still with us! The other night we were out to dinner and Lexy wanted everyone to say something about you. We all talked about you and cried! Nobody will ever understand how much you touched our hearts and changed our life forever! So tonight as I lay my head to sleep, I will think of you and remember those 3 days I had with you 5 months ago. I miss you and love you so much!! Mom xoxoxo

4 month birthday

Happy 4 month birthday Cayden! I can't believe it has been 4 months today. I miss you so much and would give anything to have you back. Lexy talks about you constantly and wishes she could hold you. She told me the other day that she will see you again in heaven one day. We all love you! xoxoxo

I wanted to take a minute to write tonight, it seems as if time has gotten the best of me lately! We are so crazy busy trying to prepare for the move, but not a day goes by that I don't think of my Cayden and wish he was still here with us. When I look at Carter, I can't help but smile. I just love him so much, but it feels so unfair that I don't have Cayden to look at and feel the same way. My little Lexy loo talks about Cayden ALL the time. She asked me the other night why it has to hurt so bad? I didn't have an answer for her though. It feels like it hurts a little more everyday. I feel like I am on a roller coaster. I do ok during the day while I'm really busy, but when everyone is in bed asleep, I fall apart. I think about the days we spent with him and how lucky we were to be given that time, but yet it doesn't feel like it was long enough! What I'd give to hold him in my arms again! Good-night my love, I love you so much more then you'll ever know! Love, Mom

another sweet poem

So here I am again, crying over my computer. I seem to do that a lot lately. I am looking into a website called names in the sand, where you have your childs name written in the sand with a beautiful sunset in the background. While on the website I came across this poem and it was amazing how true it rang to me. I have always loved poems. I used to write my own growing up to express my feelings. So I am going to share it with you all!

Thinking of you with Love
We thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
and days before that too.
We think of you in silence,
we often speak your name.
All we have are memories,
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
with which we will never part.
God has you in his keeping,
we have you in our hearts.
A million times we've wanted you,
A million times we cried.
If love could only have saved you,
you never would have died.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you didn't go alone.
For a part of us went with you...
the day God called you home!
Wow, it really is exactly how I feel! Although, No words can ever express how much I truly miss my Cayden!

A poem for you baby boy

A Mothers Love
I didn't have to look into your eyes,
to fall in love with you.
I didn't have to hear you cry,
to know you loved me too.
I didn't need to hold your hand,
to cherish you for always.
within my womb, we shared our hearts,
you touched my soul,
you sweetened my spirit.
You gave me memories, I'll always hold dear.
yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon,
but a mothers love does not end with death.
for you are my child,
forever my love is yours!
I miss you Cayden Ryan Burns!

Happy 3 month birthday!

Happy 3 month birthday Cayden!! It is so hard to believe that 3 months ago today you were born and I was holding you in my arms! I remember laying in the hospital room with Memo and I couldn't believe that you had defied the odds and you were still with us. I would give anything to go back to that moment! I miss you so much! Love, Mom

Walking for Cayden

Hi, I want to apologize for allowing such a long time to pass without writing. Things have been quite hectic around here as we are preparing for the big move! We recently went to the Cape looking for a home and now we are headed to Maryland for a week for Ryan's work. Only seven weeks left until we start on our next journey in life. With all that said, I have started a team with March of Dimes in honor of Cayden. It is something that I feel I need to do so that other families don't have to go through what we went through! I am in the process of having t-shirts made with his picture on them. Ryan and I can't wait until we can wear the t-shirts with our precious baby's picture on it. Ryan was saying tonight, "oh we'll have to buy the sweatshirts, hats, bags, we are buying it all." I am looking forward to the big event at Cape Cod Canal on June 27th. I love anything that has to do with keeping Cayden's memory alive! Now, the next hardest thing is going to be leaving my home where my baby came home to, where he lay in my arms and where he left us to be in a better place. It is going to kill me, but he's coming with us everywhere we go, so I have faith that I will be ok! I love you Cayden Ryan. You are the last thing I think of as I lay my head on pillow every night wishing you were in my arms!